When Those We Love Are Hurting

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When Those We Love Are Hurting

While a joyous time of celebration, underneath the clamor of the holidays it can be an especially difficult time of year for many people. It seems to amplify the loneliness, heartbreak, sadness, helplessness and despair that lingers deep within people all over the world; many who can be right beside you. While they may be close physically, they’re far away emotionally hiding their pain. No one knows the depth of pain and torment that lies within them because they feel unsafe or insecure sharing how they truly feel with the ones they love.

Buried within the hustle and bustle of the holidays is the devastation in friends’ eyes or loved ones’ soul as they silently suffer believing there is no one to talk with, no one to listen, no one who can understand them, no one who can relate to what they’re going through. Frankly they don’t fully understand what they’re going through themselves, which makes it hard to communicate what they’re feeling or what they’re going through in a manner that can be understood by anyone who hasn’t shared this experience before them.

Inside they’re grieving, they’re screaming, they’re scared. Silently they cry out to be freed from what imprisons them as the darkness shrouds around them. This turmoil threatens to get out of control as they long to find someone to truly hear and listen to them. They want to run and break through the darkness, but lost they can’t find their way out. Afraid they’re losing control with no one to turn to that went through this before them, no one to confide in without judgment, no one who can help them. They continue to struggle alone hoping to find someone who understands. Without help they’ll eventually become exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Feeling totally depleted they contemplate giving up and giving in to this darkness that is so pervasive it threatens to take their life.

Sadly this is much more common than you may think. Often people share that they feel suffocated, unloved, unappreciated, unfulfilled, isolated. Trapped in a life they created, but no longer resonate with. Outwardly they’re smiling, but inwardly they’re dying. Making it difficult to function or get through the day. Alone they wonder, they beg to find the light in the darkness. A darkness that envelopes their soul and gets darker this time of year as outwardly others believe they’re happy in their marriage, their business, their job, their life. If no one looks deeper, on the outside they do appear happy, successful, all together because they typically have a spouse, “success”, an envious lifestyle and all the material possessions they desire. But what they lack and long for is even more valuable because they don’t have the peace, joy, love, freedom and meaning that they need in their life.

Having lived through this darkness numerous times, times when the darkness became so dark giving up and giving in seemed only a heartbeat away; I understand the journey they’re traveling through because I traveled a similar journey and walked in these shoes.

This holiday season give the most valued gift you can give another, yourself. Take time to be present, to listen, to observe, to see the unseen, to hear the unspoken (that shouts louder than words) and above all to LOVE. Listen with your body, your heart and your emotions to “hear” what people are saying with their eyes, bodies and hearts as these communicate more deeply than words.

When someone you care about is trying to find their way out of the darkness, I’m here to help them back into the light. I’ve traveled this journey alone so others don’t have to. It was a priceless journey that filled my heart with deep compassion, understanding and love for all people.